I feel like a schizophrenic conductor leading an orchestra of madmen in a concerto of crazy. The music remains the same: dark, sombre, rhythmic and driving like a harsh rain. Compelling. The intensity and tempo rise and fall but it is always played affrettando, as if time is running out. Even in my sleep I can hear the low, throbbing boom and sometimes I wake with my heart racing. Once before I threw the baton down in a craven attempt to get it to stop, but it continued, weaving and twisting its own way, free of the womb and out of my control. If I find enough speed I might be able to keep up with the music, and although part of me knows I will never be able to outrun it, it might be fun to try.
|Can you hear it?|