Monday, January 4, 2016


Ten New Year's Motorcycle Resolutions I will probably not keep.

1. I resolve not to flip off the assholes that fail to yield like they are supposed to.

2. I resolve to keep quiet when mouthbreathers toss cigarette butts near me at stoplights.

3. I resolve to only lane split in states where it is legal (California here I come).

4. I resolve to expect only the best, most courteous behavior from my fellow drivers.

5. I resolve not to blow a gasket when those motherfuckers fail miserably.

6. I resolve not to mount a 50 caliber machine gun on my commuter bike to deal with these idiots.

7. I resolve not to make fun of retarded sportbikes with 30 foot swingarms and pink LEDs.

8. I resolve not to judge fellow bikers on their attire, even if it is a Sons Of Anarchy leather vest.

9. I resolve to ride no more than 10 miles per hour above the posted speed limit.

10.  I resolve not to snicker derisively at the next moron who calls it a steering "dampener", a "helment", or who tells me about how they installed a "powerband" in his 125.

My first racebike.  What does it have to do with New year's resolutions?  I'm not sure, but I did resolve never to ride such an ill handling, unreliable, ugly colored machine ever again!

No comments:

Post a Comment