Wednesday, July 15, 2015
DNS FZR WTF
As the FZR makes its transformation from trash heap tootsie to virtuous virgin, one thing is proving certain, the damn thing is hard to start. To begin with, the crankshaft nose on the starter gear side has been lopped off, which means no electric start and of course the bike is too modern to have been designed with a kickstart, so that means bumpstart only. Please read this earlier post if you are uncertain how this is performed: Things That Go Bump In the Heat
The procedure is difficult enough in the race paddock with people pushing you, but trying to do it on a quiet cul-de-sac with a bike sporting choke-less Keihin FCR flatslide carburetors in cold damp weather is a recipe for one of two things:
1. Nasty slip and fall resulting in a 350 pound paperweight landing on top of you, leaving you moaning in the street, "I've fallen and I can't get up." while mouth-breathing bystanders ask if you are ok (of course I am ok, I have chosen to lie here on the wet pavement underneath this two-wheeled coffin lid slowly crushing my internal organs and now leaking gasoline onto my testicles, it's the coolest trend since Hot Yoga!)
2. A heart attack from pushing the damn thing over and over again and a visit from the local constabulary replete with flashing blue lights because your ever vigilant neighbor thought someone (that looked exactly like you) was trying to steal your motorcycle (by repeatedly pushing it back and forth up and down the street and jumping up and down on the seat, a well-known theft technique!).
*Disclaimer: while the above scenarios are based on true events, the names and weight of the motorcycle in question have been changed to protect the innocent and obese.
This just wasn't going to work for me.