Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Necessity Is the Mother....Fucker



"You love tinkering Kris, you are always working on something!" -Too many idiots to count


Let me start by saying I am not a mechanic, or a tuner, or an engineer.  I'm a goddamned hack.  Hand me any kind of tool and I'm just as likely to end up with a bigger pile of broken shit than to actually fix something.  If, over the decades, I have gained a sort of crude Cro-Magnon proficiency with implements of repair and their wielding it is simply due to ceaseless repetition as required by necessity.  Simply put, shit keeps breaking and, not being well-heeled enough to pay someone with more inclination, education, aptitude and dexterity to take care of the dirty work, the tasks fall to me.  They are not enjoyable.  I grit my teeth, skin my knuckles and swear my way through them.

I will not speak about the satisfaction of fixing something yourself.  There is very little to be had, if any, usually because no sooner is one leak in the dike fixed than another springs.  Such is the paradox of being one who attempts to fix in a throwaway world.  There is too much to be done and not enough hours or energy in the day.

Recently, I dated a woman who by the third meeting always had some project or repair waiting for me when I came over.  With grease still under my fingernails from trying to take care of my own day's debacles, it fell to me to assist with hers.  In the effort to ingratiate myself to the conniving minx, I became her free labor handyman. Take care learning to use a screwdriver, else it ensure you will always be getting unpleasantly screwed.

So if you see me spinning a wrench, instead of a wheel, it might be best to keep your mouth shut, move along and remember there are much better things I'd rather be doing.

Necessity is a mother fucker indeed....


I'll take riding over wrenching any damn day.
     

1 comment:

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