Caveat Emptor Fucked By A Spanish Whore

Found a 2011 Gas Gas EC 300 on Craigslist in NC.  Drove there, looked it over, seemed to run decent, needed a little TLC.  Settled on a price of $2,500.  What could go wrong, right?  Well, for your amusement, I've decided to describe the debacle in pictures and poetry: 

A bit rough, off the cuff, but surely built with the right stuff? Too much? Not enough?

Piston leaves me wishin' I'd have kept fishin'. Rebuild now is the only mission. On my head rain is pissin'.

The head is dead. I see red.  I need gold, but have only lead.

My bore is scored. Oh lord.  How will I afford?

Crankseal doth weep. That ain't cheap.  Bearings too, creak, creak.  Rod probably also weak.

Happy couple or cursed nuptials?  Short honeymoon, 'til the trouble.  Iberian dream now shattered bubble.